stacyru Posted 11.22.09 | I was adopted and I do not know my birth parents. I have tried to find them with no success. Now that I'm an adult, I would like to know at least the medical history of my biological family. |
tdhale Posted 11.24.09 | I have adopted friends in a similar situation. The desire to know one's biological parents is a very legitimate want but knowing one's medical history can be a matter of life and death. I wonder if you would benefit from genetic testing that would allow you to see if you have a higher risk of certain genetic diseases. If so, would you prefer to know and possibly get bad news or live your life wondering? |
elizabethology Posted 11.26.09 | Do your parents know anything? Are they withholding information from you? My cousin is adopted from Russia, so any chance of finding her birth parents was pretty slim. Legitimate records from there are difficult to come by...so she still lingers to know them, but it's not going to happen. She resents her parents a bit for not pressing for more information at the time of the adoption - it may have been easier to come by then. |
sohodmc Posted 11.29.09 | I can totally relate to your desire to meet your birth parent(s). I too am adopted; fortunately, 14-years-ago I met my birth mother. Since, I'm aware of my maternal medical history; unfortunately, I'm still waiting to get information on my paternal medical history (long story). After my first child was born, it became very important to me to find at least one of my birth parents. I tried to locate them by means of military records, lawyers, adoption agencies, etc. What was successful for me - I posted an ad in the newspaper from the area in which I was born. A relative read the ad, and relayed the information onto my birth mother. Luck! But it worked. I wish you luck with your search, don't give up! |
dfirtz08 Posted 11.30.09 | I am very close to someone who has been through the adoption process. She and her husband attempted for ten years to have children of their own, and exhausted every avenue until adoption. I have never seen two people so happy to have a little addition to the family. The happiness and guarantee of a great home have been major pros of adoption. However, since the biological mother gave up the baby, she has been trying to contact the new parents and they are scared that she is trying to take her back. The cons have also been all of the paperwork and home checks, but of course, these are necessary to see the child has a good home. It is also stressful to never know if someone will choose you to give their child to. But adoption is a great option for everyone involved. |
Amanda Posted 12.01.09 | I agree that it would be beneficial to know your family's medical history, but keep in mind, not knowing your birth parents might not be a bad thing. My mom was adopted when she was 8 years old, so she knew her biological mother (who wasn't sure who her father was). I met my mom's biological mother a few times when I was a kid, and even through the eyes of a child, that woman was a monster.
Not that I'm saying your biological parents are necessarily bad people... Just realize it's a 50-50 chance. |
BSC Posted 01.16.10 | My 25 year old step brother has no idea that he's adopted. My dad and stepmother adopted him when he was only 3 months old. Since I work with children who have behavior problems, many of which are adopted and know they are adopted, I can see the pros and cons of being adopted. The children I work with voice that it's a void in their life and many of them do not respect the adopted parents because they place blame on them for adopting them. One child even told me if her adopted mother hadn't adopted her, she would still be with her mother. Knowing and not understanding is so much better than not knowing you're adopted and not having to questions why you were given up. |
medigirl123 Posted 01.24.10 | My mother (age 49) was given up for adoption at age 3. About 10 years ago she sought out and found her birth mother. One pro of finding her birth mother; She was able to have some questions answered about her past and medical history. One con, and a big one for my mother, she got to meet her birth mother. She soon realized she was better off being taken in by my loving grandparents. I can relate to Amanda's post. Very much the same situation. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, in my mother's stiuation it certainley was. Good luck. |